Kirstie Clements: The ugly truth about what the Kardashians really look like

One conversation making the rounds on Twitter this week concerned the very wonderful courtroom illustrations that emerged from the trial going on in Los Angeles between the Kardashian clan and Rob Kardashian’s former girlfriend, Blac Chyna.

Sketch artist Mona Shafer Edwards has a background in fashion illustration and her court sketches are, indeed, mini works of art, allowing us a very telling glimpse of the Kardashian women without the benefit of filters, edits and flattering light.

Edwards was clearly impressed by Blac Chyna’s courtroom outfits, which consisted of some very va va voom pantsuits, with wide flared pants setting off her short white marcel waves and long talons.

Many people were comparing the masterful drawings to some of the famous Halston fashion sketches by illustrator Joe Eula.

Chyna looked like a very fashionable queen, but not so much the Kardashians, which one commentator dubbed “The Fates” – the three creepy crones in Greek mythology who were charged with the destinies of all living beings. That made me laugh for hours as it was such an apt description.

Normally we only see Instagram’s version of the Kardashians or their very well-lit television series and ubiquitous magazine shoots, so it is highly unusual to see how they look to an observer in real life.

Three of the sisters, Khloé, Kim and Kylie, were captured in profile, their copious amounts of injectables and lip enhancements creating odd silhouettes, not unlike a trio of Easter Island statues.

Interestingly, Kylie Jenner – who at 24 years old is the youngest sister – also appears to have had the most amount of work and looks older than all of them. Including her mother.

It’s still baffling to me that this ever-increasing trend to have Botox and injectables and surgery when you are barely out of your teens is supposedly making you look more youthful, when in fact it ages you enormously.

All the makeup, contouring and bronzing and shading work a treat on social media when the image is one dimensional. But in real life it looks harsh and unflattering.

It’s not for me to judge these women, because if that’s how they want to look, all power to them, but the hours of maintenance required exhausts me just thinking about it.

I already resent the time I spend having manicures, eyelash extensions and hair colour. That’s just to get me to a point where I can leave the house without scaring the staff at the organic bakery.

But imagine the upkeep required having 12-centimetre fake nails, white, blonde hair when you’re a natural dark brunette, butt implants, vampire facials, skin resurfacing, injectable fillers, and full hair and makeup before breakfast.

Among all that, there must be some pretty spectacular and lengthy workouts with crack personal trainers to be able to pour yourself into a latex catsuit later that day.

Kim was famously mocked a little while ago for telling people they had to get off their butts and work, but I would challenge you that she works harder than anyone just to get ready for that selfie.

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